Immense Dark Blossom

Here's to the new year.

2011-12-31T10:21:00.004-05:00

On this final day of 2011, it's time to banish the turbulence that has marked most of this year. Though 2012 is the year of prophesied apocalypse, there is no need to live in fear and dread. Take each day and each week as they come, and don't forget to take in life's small pleasures.

Having taken stock of the past year's events, and after clearing out tons of irrelevant clutter, I've compiled a brief "wishlist" for 2012:

Make myself more of a presence, whether online or in my own community. Of course, that entails some degree of specialization. What niche can I fill (or even create)?

Continue to explore, both here in Rochester and abroad. A great learning experience, plus several opportunities to tune up my photography skills.

Take more risks.

Learn new skills and crafts. My boyfriend was wonderful enough to get me a ukulele last week, and with any luck, I'll be strumming along to 1920s jazz tunes in no time. I would also love to improve my sewing skills, possibly even making my own clothing. Optimized self-sufficiency is the goal.

Stay positive, even if you have to bite your tongue to do it. Making new associations with creative and inspired people will be a major boost.

There will be more elaborate posts in the future, but for now, best wishes to you and yours, for the new year and beyond.

On electronic music.

2011-12-05T17:36:00.000-05:00

Over the course of the past year, I've had a relatively new and confusing devil to confront: anxiety. Unpredictable as it is, it has affected my productivity as well as my interactions with coworkers, friends, my boyfriend, and my family. At its worst, it consumes me whole. However, I've discovered a powerful combatant: electronic music. Though a child of the '90s, my exposure to the genre was regrettably limited; unless there were electronic influences present in the alternative music I was listening to, it would be a nearly fifteen-year wait to discover that particular brand of beauty. Late last year, I began to pay closer attention to a specialty show on the only station that matters, Elektrobank. Alex, the host, crafts each playlist with great love and care, representing a wide variety of electronic sub-genres and catering to many tastes. I've discovered many wonderful acts, some on a weekly basis. Needless to say, Elektrobank has become a staunch Saturday night ritual.

My growing interest in electronic music has led to some curious musings on the relationship between man and machine. Paranoiacs may allege that machines are overtaking society as we know it, replacing the need for human labor or any presence of flesh and blood. While computerized mechanisms have by and large simplified the workings of industry and community, humanity is absolutely necessary to maintain and improve upon this bounty of technology. Speaking from an artistic standpoint, one with which I am vastly more comfortable and familiar, computers are most often used to approximate something greater than what nature can provide on its own, deep into the farthest expanses of human imagination and experience. The end result sounds neither like man nor machine, but something glorious and ethereal from an entirely separate realm.

Words alone can't do justice to such wonderful sounds, nor can they adequately capture the joy and relief that I feel when I get in my car after a long day at work, or when I have a day off, and those smooth sounds sweep me off of my feet.

Addendum.

2011-10-18T10:39:00.001-04:00

I wanted to clarify a statement that I made on my last post:

I've been reading up on various silent film actors lately, many of whom got their start simply by being in the right place at the right time, or having that extra glint of promise in their eyes. Resumes were hardly necessary. Pure ambition was just about all it took to break through. If only the modern world functioned in a similar manner...

This isn't to say that I want to have a job handed to me, or that I want a reward without enduring any sort of challenge. In fact, the challenge is what I crave. As far back as high school, I haven't been fond of the fact that so much rests on the contents of a resume. It's a flat piece of paper. Someone is supposed to be able to judge your character and develop trust in your skills through its contents? Experience is important, yes, but there's something almost dehumanizing about the whole process. You limit yourself to a few vague descriptors as a means of "coloring" your prior work experience and educational credentials. Should you be fortunate enough to be granted a face-to-face interview, you can't express the full range of your personality and interests, which is understandable, given that you can only discuss what's pertinent to the position. Still, you are more than just a number, more than a filled seat at a desk. There are feelings, hopes, joys, dreams, desires at stake. In our current economic state, it's increasingly difficult to take risks, but what is life without any gamble?

I clearly don't have the head for business, otherwise I'd be sitting pretty in a pricey urban loft. These are simply my world views, not to be taken as eternal truths; I am hardly world-weary or a seasoned traveler. Sometimes you just have to question conformity.

Restarting...

2011-10-16T22:35:00.001-04:00

Breaking the silence after yet another extended absence...this poor old blog serves as little more than a dust collector, but it's comforting to know that it's available in the event that I'm struck by that rare, fleeting bolt of inspiration.

Well, that's not entirely true. The inspiration is plentiful, but I lack either the motivation, the free time, or the energy necessary to follow through. In many recent days, I've felt like I'm circling the drain amidst a quarterlife crisis, desperately fighting to break the cycle of Can't. I made a few attempts to look for a new job, but as I'm actually quite satisfied with my current work, I'm finding that that isn't the solution. I have some degree of stability, I enjoy what I do, and I really like the people that I work with. Occasional panic and fear of long-term shortcomings sometimes drive me to reconsider my current place in life...but then I tell myself that too much self-doubt is poisonous to ambition.

I then come back to my friends, my greatest source of inspiration, who are loaded to the brim with talent, passion, and drive. It's heartwarming to see collectives of artists all around town, and I find myself wondering if I have a place among them. I don't have one style or line of interests, as evidenced by this very blog. Perhaps this "quarterlife crisis" extends to creative identity, or the apparent lack thereof. I have always loved learning, regardless of the subject...I am simply not a one-dimensional creature. The question now is how to make that lack of identity a viable venture. Can I make it work?

On one last note, I've been reading up on various silent film actors lately, many of whom got their start simply by being in the right place at the right time, or having that extra glint of promise in their eyes. Resumes were hardly necessary. Pure ambition was just about all it took to break through. If only the modern world functioned in a similar manner...

Playtime isn't over, it's merely just begun.

Small reminders, part two.

2011-03-21T21:57:00.000-04:00

Today did not get off to a great start. I came home from work at 2:30 AM, after a long and productive shift, hoping that I could still wake up at a decent hour and enjoy an equally productive day off. It was not to be. I finally dragged myself out of bed at 11:30, tried to speed up the waking process with tea, took a walk, drank more tea (my solution to just about everything, it seems), and grew frustrated to the point of having to scream into a pillow. Couldn't focus on anything, couldn't be productive, had no idea what to do with myself. After calming down somewhat, I knew it was imperative to channel that energy in a much healthier way.

The first thing to do was to take a step back, stop and look at all of the positives. I have a roof over my head, living in a humble room at my childhood home. I am earning a paycheck, working with people that I love, staying productive and having the opportunity to be creative. I have my health, though there are always little things that could be improved on that front. I'm close to my family once again. I've made several meaningful connections in the digital realm, both locally and in Japan (I am relieved and very grateful that my friends there are safe in the aftermath of the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear meltdown).

(There is no gentleman caller as of yet, but I keep telling myself that if it's meant to work out that way, it will...just be patient! I can certainly survive as a single woman, but I can't lie that it would be a fine bonus.)

Most importantly, I'm surrounded by wonderfully talented, hardworking, beautiful people, and I am honored to be able to call them friends. Artists, musicians, writers, scholars...I'm astounded by what they are able to do each and every day, and by the joy that they derive from the things that they love. Just know that you are a constant source of inspiration...words are insufficient to describe the appreciation that I have for you. I hope to be able to make my mark and find success as you have. Infinite thanks.

Stylistically speaking.

2011-03-10T13:08:00.001-05:00

With warmer weather on the horizon, and amidst my thorough spring cleaning, I thought I'd delve into a topic that hasn't yet been covered: my personal style. I prefer not to focus on myself, but the concept of a personal blog makes that inevitable. To follow, a tidy overview of what you might find in my wardrobe...I plan on breaking down other interests in future posts.

In general, I enjoy colors, textures, and prints with an ethereal sensibility. I'm intrigued by objects without a sense of history, a definitive time and/or place of origin (though I do enjoy touches of Art Deco here and there). I love the concept of self-generating ideas, difficult as it can sometimes be to comprehend. This ties somewhat into my fascination with the future and its abundance of possibility, but also links into my past. Growing up mostly in the mid-to-late '90s, I was lulled by a variety of "futuristic" influences on TV and on the radio. There was a stark minimalism present, but nothing entirely out of human reach. I suppose that I relate to the sensibility of being relatively undefined, which might explain my tendency to wrap myself in various shades of gray and silver ( As the mist fills in some blanks). Also alluring is the fade-in/fade-out of ombre/dip-dyed items, which mimic the scenic gradation of a misty day. I never try to blend in, but I don't go to great lengths to stand out...I simply do what comes naturally.

Owakudani, Hakone, Japan, May 2008. Visual texture overload to be sure, but a wonderful moment in time. I bought that oversized scarf in Kyoto, which has become my favorite travel accessory...it also works beautifully as a headwrap (as shown above...it helped me dodge the rain that day) or even as a small blanket. Multipurpose items are the way to go...

It's no secret that I love Japanese design in all forms. Of particular interest are the fabrics, in an endless array of colors, textures, patterns, and construction methods. I've been collecting fabrics for various purposes, mainly to recover old pillows, but I've also been churning out obi-style belts. I'd love to give some as gifts once I have enough of them made...

Simple to sew (and addictive), fun to wear. It's thrilling to be able to wear something that you've made with your own hands, especially knowing that it's one of a kind. I also love small, simple details in my clothing and accessories, keeping with a minimalist/utilitarian slant. Pockets, zippers, buckles...if it's beautiful and functional, it's a winner.

In terms of makeup and jewelry, I strive for simplicity with a nod to the otherworldly. Opalescent eyeshadow is a great touch, and neutral enough to work with my coloring (strawberry blonde, fair/cool-toned skin, blue eyes). Occasionally I'll use a classic red lipgloss/lipstick for a pop of color, but I prefer a muted, yet ethereal palette for everyday wear. I like that luminescent quality to extend to my jewelry, too...stones like labradorite, opal (my birthstone, depending on who you ask), and moonstone.

As always, though I ramble on about myself, I do this in the hopes of hearing from you...there's nothing that I love more than learning about what drives you. Please feel free to share.

Small reminders.

2011-03-02T22:02:00.000-05:00

(For myself and for all of you. I am by no means an expert on the art of living, but even in the worst of times, it's crucial to have tips like the following to keep stress low and sights set high. I always welcome your comments, ideas, and stories.)

Have an idea? Record it. Write it down, bring it to life on your computer, draw a sketch, leave yourself a voicemail, whatever you need to do to keep that idea alive. You may change your mind about it, minutes, days, or years later, but at the very least you will have a map of your creative and logical progression, a glimpse into the workings of your own mind.

Be respectful. It won't always be easy...you get tired of the same scene day after day, your motivation runs low, you might be in a bad mood (for good reason, or for no reason at all)...stop. Take a deep breath. Clear your head as best you can. Put a brave face on. Being kind to others, even complete strangers, can lift your mood instantly and help to put your troubles aside. If someone is being rude or otherwise difficult, bite your tongue and remain civil. Failing that, just walk away. Unjust anger is not worth paying any mind.

Don't allow yourself to be treated poorly. You are honest, loving, hardworking, and always giving back to the people you love. Any relationship, romantic or otherwise, requires some degree of balance. If you continue to give so much of yourself but are consistently shortchanged or met with negativity, make your feelings known. Break the cycle before the relationship continues to decline. Honesty is the best policy. If that person can't love you and accept you as you are, if they only seek to use you or try to change who you are, let them go. Life is too short to put yourself through such hell. Keep positive company: people you can love, trust and support without hesitation.

Keep learning. Dust off some old knowledge, or give a formerly despised subject a second chance. Go out on a limb and try something new. No matter what you choose, you may be pleasantly surprised with what you discover.

The world is your playground. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to be serious and realistic, especially in this period of recession, but that doesn't mean that you can't also be light. Find your muse and run with it. Take the time to discover (or rediscover) what colors your world and what sets you apart from the mundane. Build your own universe and then explore it. Share it! Enjoy the fruits of your labor, but also revel in the process that brought them about. It is possible to keep your feet firmly on the ground and touch the sky.

Glancing back, looking ahead.

2010-12-22T13:29:00.001-05:00

2010 is the Year of the Tiger, and I have rediscovered my stripes.

Having been born in the Year of the Tiger 24 years ago, I knew that this year had to be one in which I could make grand things happen. Have I accomplished anything concrete? Not as of yet, but I am well on my way...all that I know for sure is that I am far better off now than I was at the beginning of the year...

The first half of 2010 was mired in swirls of depression, frustration, and an overall feeling of uselessness. I was completely hollow, devoid of any motivation, passion, or joy. Rational thought or action was a struggle. Despite the difficulties, I was (and still am) very thankful to have had the opportunity to live life fairly independently, and to have met so many wonderful, driven people. Unfortunately, this year also saw the end of a nearly two-year relationship, one that had not come to be without great patience and sacrifice. I am still at odds with how to handle communication...I've never had to cut anyone out of my life, and I'd hate to reach that point, but will opening back up be helpful or harmful? Time will tell, with any luck. Then the decision came to make the move back home. My grandmother passed away a week before I was set to leave...a crushing loss, to be sure, but she put a great deal of life into every one of her 93 years. She was hardworking, intelligent, endlessly caring, and gave so much back to her family, friends, and community. Completely respectful AND respected...what a way to go through life. I hope to be able to channel even an ounce of that positive energy and make wonderful things happen. One of the last gifts she gave to me was a sewing machine, accompanied with this note: "With every stitch you make, think of me." I certainly have. Thank you.

Overall, I am very relieved to be back home...I spent a great deal of time outside of my comfort zone while living in Cincinnati, dealing with numerous new experiences and challenges, and I have learned so much as a result. Now that I'm back in a place looming with creative energy, I'm better prepared to be proactive and seek out opportunities that will best suit me, as opposed to waiting for good things to happen. (Especially necessary when one seeks to escape the suburban doldrums.) I'm thankful to be close to my family once again, to have two jobs, to have my health and (mental/emotional) strength, and to be able to enjoy a renewed outlook on life. Plus, I got to meet several wonderful people, many of whom have helped to jumpstart my motivation (like the wonderful Janet Weiss, pictured below).

What does 2011 have in store? As I've said before, the future is unwritten...it's particularly crucial that you make your own life "happen" as much as you can before leaving the rest to fate. I hope to find an art form that is satisfying and potent, one with which I can find complete happiness. I'd love to keep meeting new people, both local and abroad (the wonders of the internet never cease), and to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances. Getting involved with my favorite local organizations would be wonderful, hopefully going beyond mere membership. I have some Louise Brooks-related projects on my plate that I'm hoping to start on very soon...I can't wait to share them with you. Attempting new recipes, going to more shows, improving my sewing skills, dusting off my language skills, the list could go on for hours. (I'm not going to lie, a little bit of romance would be nice, too.)

Maybe not the most eloquent post I've written, but I'm doing my best while still trying to recover from all of the holiday madness...looking forward to having my mind and my life back very shortly. In the meantime, I wish all of you the best, not just for the holiday season, but in the new year and beyond. Live honestly and lovingly, and never hesitate to share your passion with the world.

With love, always.

As the mist.

2010-11-03T20:00:00.000-04:00

Ever since I stood at the peak of Mt. Komagatake in Hakone two years ago, I have retained the need and the desire for moments of pure, quiet contemplation. I've always been rather introverted, though I've made small strides in recent years to be more sociable. It's more comfortable for me to not talk (in some circumstances), but I have no fear of speech or setting my thoughts forth. I simply tend to keep it all in my head...writing has been the best form of relief. I communicate better through email or handwritten letter (which I've been meaning to get into) than by phone or other verbal communication. I have many ideas that I'd love to share with the world, but often it's about finding the right audience, or finding any audience at all. So long as you live honestly, keep an open mind and share your passions with the world, I will undoubtedly appreciate and support you. I feel a great deal of love for a lot of people, as I always have and will...which is tricky when you are inhibited by shyness or a lack of confidence. Romantic love is another story...I'm not sure that I've ever been "in love", or whether those feelings were instead an extension of my enthusiasm, support and unflinching care. I don't get a great deal of attention from the opposite sex...I do not state this as a plea for pity or a cry for such attention, I am merely presenting the reality of my situation, as it was and is today. There are times when I wonder if I should do something to get myself noticed in a positive way. Do I need to have some self-portraits taken to mark my presence as a extant being on this earth? Should I try to create art for public exhibition? Does my introversion somehow intimidate people or scare them away? (That I wouldn't be able to understand.) Perhaps people just don't know what to make of me, and I can't blame them...I hardly know what to do with myself. I have seemed to fly under the radar for most of my life...

And so it is that we come back to the mountaintop. Two elements were present: the silence and the mist. Mist that followed me as I traveled all over Japan, mist that provided an odd but unmistakable sense of comfort. I started to notice similarities between the element and facets of my personality...

The mist is everywhere and nowhere all at once.
Too light to be completely grounded, but heavy enough to not float away recklessly.
It wraps itself gently around mountains and trees as a sheer blanket, almost like a hug.

Nearly invisible, but if you look closely enough, you will be rewarded with a light, pure beauty that is unparalleled.

Fall into it.

2010-09-20T16:11:00.000-04:00

Naturally, as an October baby, autumn is my favorite time of year. Though I've elaborated on my love of the season in previous posts, I can never get over how the shift affects me. I would liken the emotional high to falling in love (if I can consider myself qualified to understand just how that feels), though instead of foisting your happiness on a particular person, a definite target, you're casting it blindly into the cooling air. I feel that I'm at my personal best at this time of year, but more importantly, I rediscover all of the amazing things that others within the community are doing, particularly in the realms of art and music. I have some free time to play with this week, in between work and catsitting, so I thought I'd highlight a few of my sources of inspiration for various autumn/winter craft projects.

Japanese quilts. This book that I discovered on eBay features images of lovingly crafted, intensely beautiful quilts, mostly comprised of indigo-dyed fabrics. The interlocking geometries are undeniably dazzling...I've never quilted before, but I might give it a go (with a little help from my friends, of course).

Watercolor painting. Between my most recent visit to ARTISANworks and poring over Japanese textiles, I've decided that I want to give watercolor painting another try. I haven't attempted it since high school, and even then, I felt that I overdid the layering of color. Acrylic was my favorite medium, but I'd prefer to convey something more ethereal, almost weightless...

Soft light. Kin to the Japanese aesthetic that I love so much (I still recommend Tanizaki's In Praise of Shadows as an introduction), warm, soft, glowing light is something that I've been seeking out readily, particularly when making small changes in my decor. There's something purely magical about a cool autumn evening, awash in the moon's glow, punctuated by soft orbs of candlelight or the radiance of lit lanterns.

Every autumn, I fall in love with the world all over again...as the light burns brightly inside of me, so it does in the hearts and minds of all of the wonderful people around me. What are your muses during this autumn season?

This is a call.

2010-09-04T17:10:00.000-04:00

Since my first visit with my high school art classmates, I have been absolutely in love with ArtisanWORKS. Beyond its unsuspecting walls you'll find a treasure trove of art, mostly local, hung and displayed as if it were a manmade forest, with surprises around every bend. One visit isn't enough to soak up all that the "gallery" has to offer; as is the case with many films, you'll notice something new every time you look. ArtisanWORKS is also host to several staged rooms, works of art in and of themselves, some of which are large enough to be rented out for weddings, meetings, or other special events. The Frank Lloyd Wright Tribute Room features a softly-lit second-story library, housing a variety of books on photography and art. Sadly, even ArtisanWORKS is not immune to economic woes; their hours have been restricted to weekends (Friday-Sunday), and their facilities have been somewhat downsized. The famed rooftop garden has been closed to the public per the city's request, and some of the display space has been either completely lost (such as the tatami room, a personal favorite) or compromised to provide room for corporate offices. (I tried to find news items that specifically covered these issues, but I haven't had any luck as of yet.) However, with new spaces being added in recent months, and with more in the works, the fine people and artists behind ArtisanWORKS have encountered a wave of good fortune...I hope that it continues to swell for them, as they deserve every bit of success that they receive. The true beauty of ArtisanWORKS lies in its premise: honest art made by real people, with absolutely no pretense. Looking at each piece of art, I like to envision its respective artist, showcasing an unmistakable brightness of spirit as they pour themselves into their work. If I don't "see" a smile on their face, I know that it's there anyway, hiding within.

To find out more about this local treasure, visit their website to find out how you can lend your support. Do you have a favorite local hangout, source of inspiration, or any other place worthy of celebration/support? Feel free to share.

Playing with words.

2010-09-01T19:44:00.000-04:00

"Imitation is the highest form of flattery."

I'm inclined to believe that Louise Brooks wouldn't necessarily agree, particularly where the work of Lee Israel is concerned. Israel has become the focus of my attention due to a recent eBay listing, featuring a letter that is purported to be of Brooks' authorship; having skimmed the text and compared the signature to other samples of Louise's handwriting, the letter sadly does not ring true to me. Whether or not it is in fact a true Brooks letter, I cannot say for certain (I would still believe that it is not); however, this issue brought Lee Israel back to my attention. Israel, a one-time biographer who, having fallen upon hard times, took to writing forged letters from the likes of Noel Coward, Lillian Hellman, and Dorothy Parker, made Brooks one of her earliest targets. She often sourced biographical material for her forgeries (including personal letters), though it seems that the Brooks letters were mostly comprised of Louise's own words, which Israel shuffled around and embellished ever so slightly. As she became more self-assured in her work, she took greater creative liberties, which ultimately caused her undoing. Israel decided to come clean with a memoir, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, which was published in 2008. I have yet to read the book myself, but I'll make it a point to do so, as I'd like to wrap my head around this woman and her work; though her intentions were dubious, there is little doubt that she is quite skilled with the English language. One last item of note: as the letters she authored were "from the realm of the dead", the deceased were thereby incapable of defending themselves or setting things right. The notion of "cheating the dead" would make me feel glum, but I take comfort as I imagine that somewhere, anywhere and everywhere, "St. Louise is listening."

The love of art.

2010-08-22T21:53:00.000-04:00

Seated at the window of the Starry Nites Cafe last week, in Rochester's lovely Neighborhood of the Arts, I had a long, meditative pause over a cup of spiced chai. A new sense of purpose rang out within a light, spacious, creatively-reloaded core, all the while contemplating the beauty of the oncoming season. The shift into the autumn season often brings about subtle changes in weather, mood, and motivation. Undoubtedly my favorite season, I've noticed an urgency, now more than ever, to create. I don't know for sure what it is about autumn that causes this shift...perhaps it's a sense that everything falls into place perfectly at this time of year. The air becomes crisp, cool, and comfortable, tinged with scents of maturing leaves, leaving a spiced warmth that lingers on the palate and in the heart. It's a wonderful backdrop for boundless creativity...that is, if you can find the wherewithal to actually start.

Prior to my stop at Starry Nites, I made it a point to visit the Memorial Art Gallery, which is currently hosting the 4th Rochester Biennial exhibition (I recommend it...you get a great sense of the artists' ethos and motivation), and as I examined the local art on display, I admitted to myself a quiet failure. These artists have taken the initiative and borne the courage to bare their work, their lives, their souls to a varied (and often critical) public, without fear of rejection or dissent. The pride that has gone into their work, as in the work of all true artists, is purely radiant. I knew then that I had to pick up a pencil, a paintbrush, or a shodo ink brush and make something happen. My greatest shortcoming is my own inability to focus...my head is a swirling orb, filled with endless ideas and interests, but I absolutely cannot pick one subject as a starting point. Why do I get so distracted, and so easily? I often wonder if it's a mental issue, or if something has gone undiagnosed, but I'm quick to shun the notion. I don't want to be medicated, I just want to be free.

So I fight on, hoping to overcome this standstill. Combined with a slight, lingering loneliness, I've realized that artistic self-expression is one of many manifestations of love, a love that I wish to share with individuals and the community. I hope to meet people who also take comfort in this expression and open themselves up to the endless possibilities. Will you join me?

For Louise, in memoriam.

2010-08-08T08:37:00.000-04:00

On this day, we mark the 25th anniversary of the passing of Louise Brooks, whose pursuit of the truth in all forms cemented a status as a vividly intelligent, enigmatic being.

Why Louise Brooks? What is it about her that you find so compelling? I was first introduced to Louise by an article in the Democrat and Chronicle (written by Jack Garner, local film critic and an acquaintance of Louise towards the end of her life), published around the time of her centenary, and as many people are, I was struck by her beauty, an exotic, sparkling sort. Discovering that she had spent the last years of her life in Rochester was pure luck. Fortunately, through reading, film viewings, and research, I was able to get a glimpse of what I've truly come to love about her: the mind contained within. Her honesty, at times startling, was absolutely refreshing; unfortunately, it was that same brutal honesty that drove many people away in recoil. Those who were impatient or unwilling to get to know her better simply wrote her off, or went so far as to misuse or mistreat her. It stings to reflect upon that, but I have always been drawn to people who are enigmatic or otherwise misunderstood. I hope that through my minuscule efforts, I can help to restore some positivity to Louise's name. To be one of the few to keep the spirit of Brooks alive and well...I should be so lucky.

Want to celebrate her life and spirit? Pick up a copy of Lulu In Hollywood, or rent one of her films (her three European films are the most widely available). If you're local, you can pay your respects at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery.

Stray Dog at the Dryden Theatre, 8.5.10

2010-08-05T23:14:00.000-04:00

Another fine evening at the Dryden, spent viewing an Akira Kurosawa classic, 1949's Stray Dog. The plot is centered around a fairly green cop, Murakami (Toshiro Mifune), whose gun is stolen while riding on an overcrowded bus. Sparing a rundown of the entire plotline, the film utilized several beautiful angles and shots, many of which would feel right at home in a film made tomorrow. Kurosawa particularly favored asymmetrically-framed shots, an aesthetic consistent with traditional Japanese woodblock prints. The interchanging forced perspective close-ups and long-range shots allowed for beautiful, subtle storytelling to unfold, keeping the dialogue at a bare minimum. There was a sense that you were amidst the action, conveniently tucked behind a sheer curtain or thrust against a wall in a narrow alley as the story came to life before your eyes. Another item of note: it seems that posturing and attitude denote superiority of will and/or intelligence (at least in the Kurosawa realm). The characters with the most knowledge or experience were often leaning comfortably against a railing or table, legs folded casually beneath them. Compare Murakami's stiff stance, signaling unfamiliarity and novice status, with Sato's (Takashi Shimura, another wonderful actor) eased slouch and cool attitude.

Though there was a great deal of beauty to behold in Kurosawa's cinematography, in equal measure there was a sense of despair and dismay looming through the streets and homes of postwar Japan, culminating in a moment that will surely linger in my consciousness for the coming days and nights...(after the jump, in case you'd like to remain unspoiled by the plot)

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Murakami has at long last reunited with his Colt, though not without seeing the damage that it had inflicted upon several innocent people. Collapsed from exhaustion and blood loss, he is relieved but far too weary to celebrate. Lying next to him, in handcuffs, is the equally weary Yusa, the culprit. Worn down by a lost war and his own social inadequacies, among other factors, he is particularly sensitive. In the distance, a group of small children marches along the fields, cheerfully singing the praises of the cherry blossoms; it is at this moment, as he notices the blooms hovering above him, recalling the criminal nature that has set forth from his own hands, that his soul completely shatters. He releases a scream so primal and blood-curdling that will stun anyone and everyone in its wake. A devastating, wordless expression of humanity's unbelievable power, used alternately for better and for worse. Stark, pure, undeniably humbling.

Lost?

2010-07-22T22:42:00.000-04:00

Sitting under a gently shrouded moon, surrounded by the strange and haunting sounds of Portishead (their self-titled album will absolutely drop you if the mood is just right), I somehow feel compelled to write. Something. Anything. Though I'm hardly a writer by trade (or by any definition), the urge to create is overwhelming, especially at this strange stage in my life. Two months since my return home, and I've made some great strides...at the same time, I'm finding that I have to start from scratch in many areas. Though I'm working part-time in retail, I have yet to find a job that will allow me to be completely independent, nor have I found work that fulfills my creative side. The few friends that I have left in the area are moving on, either to work or to head back to school, and that leaves me running in circles trying to figure out how and where to meet some new people. I know what I like and where I like to go...the problem lies in determining how to make friends in those places (like the Dryden Theatre). Randomly approaching strangers, though a possibly rewarding risk, seems a bit untidy and awkward in theory. I've felt pangs of loneliness over the past couple of weeks, but I refuse to submit to self-pity or accept any feeling of defeat. The timing of my return home has yielded mixed results; while I've made some important (and lovely) business contacts, there is a great deal to be desired on the social front. I met one person in particular at a completely unexpected moment, and though we got along beautifully, communication ground to a disappointing halt. I can only hope for an eventual turnaround, but I also have to keep pressing forward. I am able to get along with just about anyone, but it's a special mental/emotional connection that I crave and I seek...not looking for a romantic relationship by any means, just hoping to meet some great people who are creative, passionate, honest, and who act with only the best intentions. Am I asking too much?

I am by turns a creature of thought and pure instinct, and one usually sparks the other. Unfortunately, I don't know what to think about the future...I just have to accept that it is truly unwritten (thank you, Mr. Strummer) and somehow cultivate the strength to be optimistic throughout all of the bends. There is greatness surrounding me, and plenty of it, instilled within people, places, things. Hopefully my instincts will light the way towards finding it...

To close, my new and current favorite quotation (also a favorite of Louise Brooks):

"We are all lost; only when we confess this do we find ourselves and really live." -José Ortega y Gasset

Evading the cult of celebrity.

2010-06-17T22:41:00.000-04:00

The following was all sparked by my workout at the gym this morning...

I had happened to notice one girl who was running on a treadmill, listening to music and reading one of the ever-popular gossip magazines, a phenomenon I fail to understand. Most people that I see on TV or on magazine covers, I often wonder why they are famous, as well as what they have to offer to the world (unfortunately, I often feel underwhelmed as a result). In this day and age, there are so many publishers, photographers, "writers" and other such weasels seeking to exploit and capitalize upon these varied celebrities. Modern celebrities, it may be argued, don't often bear the same level of talent or skill as scores of their predecessors; many are born into the business, some buy their way into it, and quite a few work up their own scandal to propel themselves into the spotlight. Some, like Megan Fox, exist solely on the basis of predetermined, canned "sex appeal"...about as satisfying as a hollowed-out Snickers bar.

I hate to generalize, but I see a common pattern: those who desperately seek fame don't often get as much as attention as they'd like, and those who crave normalcy and privacy are often denied. Compare that with the stars of the silver screen: many actors came from broken homes, having to deal with death, abuse, violence, alcoholism, drug use, or mental illness. They worked their way out of adverse conditions to make a decent living in films (and/or on stage), though fame's golden touch couldn't always bury a troubled past, and several actors succumbed to their own demons (John Gilbert and Wallace Reid come to mind). There was a devastating humanity behind the celebrity mask, one that seems virtually nonexistent today. The celebrity standard is a twin-headed beast, a pair of remarkably ugly faces. There is the need for the public to be entertained, for the people to be skirted away from their troubles, even for a brief period of time, to laugh and to cry (tears of joy, of course). Sing your little songs, dance your pretty dances, and fall in love, yes, blissful, perfectly-lit, Hollywood-concocted love. Happy endings for all. You are a star, and you must be larger than life itself...anything less is failure. On the other end, there is the need to take the elusive qualities that come with celebrity and tear them away. The presses begin to churn out tales, either completely fabricated or embellished, with the aim of lending some "humanity" to the untouchable star. Exclusive paparazzi snaps of actresses, singers, models without makeup! Appalling! Who's sleeping with this star this week? An anonymous "insider" tells all!

What feeds the beast? Simple: our own human curiosity, coupled with an intense desire to escape the mundanity of everyday life, for those who are troubled by such a situation. Escapism was incredibly popular during WWII, and for good reason: many families saw their soldiers off to fight, and they needed something positive to balance out the stress of wartime constraints. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a happy ending, I just think that, as with many things in life, balance is key. It's good to mix laughter, tears, anger, surprise, and contemplation...variety keeps life interesting. If that seems to be a challenge, then treat it as such...but then go after it. Limitation only leads to regret. And the grand myth of celebrity? I've dusted it off...I like to view the stars as everyday people. What would it be like to sit down to lunch with Angelina Jolie, or to chat in the checkout line with Denzel Washington? They're human beings, too, and though they've been afforded incredible opportunity, I'm sure they still like to feel normal, at least every now and then. My greatest hope is that these celebrities don't get clouded by their own egos or caught in the heights of media frenzy.

Which brings me back to my love of Louise Brooks.

It would be simple to mold her as the rebel that spurned the Hollywood system and went her own way, but Hollywood would have a funny way of twisting her story and crafting a brand new ending. She was one of the first celebrities to defend her own dignity. As her film career was starting up, she fought to suppress the release of controversial nude/art photographs taken early on in her stage career, and she was ultimately successful. When Paramount put out that Louise's voice was unsuitable for talkies, Louise herself took to Louella Parsons' column to rail for the truth (her voice, in reality, was beautifully smooth and musical). She took the greatest chance in her career, and at an opportune time, when her option at Paramount was up. She was hardly enthralled with B.P. Schulberg's offer (he refused to give her a raise), but thanks to George Marshall, there was an available opportunity to fly to Berlin and meet G.W. Pabst, with whom she was entirely unfamiliar, to discuss a possible starring role. She boarded that plane. Likely driven by a desire to escape Hollywood and all of its traps, Louise was finally free. The time that she spent in Berlin (and later in France) ended up being some of the happiest moments of her life; she wasn't hounded by cutthroat studio executives, and she didn't have to speak to anyone if she felt so. In a foreign land, amidst foreign speech, she had at last found her own peace and solitude.

An evening at the Dryden Theatre with Ira Resnick...and Brooksie.

2010-06-11T22:57:00.001-04:00

What a whirlwind of a Friday, particularly in the realm of all things Louise Brooks. I went out to Holy Sepulchre this morning to pay my respects (though it always takes me a while to actually find her grave...the written directions are no good when you've gotten yourself spun around so that you can't tell left from right), as I like to do from time to time. Bright sunshine and a gentle breeze made for ideal conditions, and her gravestone was flanked with lovely pink flowers, including snapdragons, a personal favorite of mine. It may seem strange to some, but I truly enjoy going to visit her. It gives me a feeling of ease and comfort beyond compare, and I could only hope that it would do the same for her. I'd like to believe that her spirit is still in Rochester, silly as that may be, but it's a thought that keeps me light.

On to the evening: there was a steady crowd in wait at the Dryden Theatre, anticipating the screening of The Canary Murder Case; the film was preceded by a discussion with Ira Resnick, author of Starstruck: Vintage Movie Posters from Classic Hollywood. Resnick, who has been collecting memorabilia since the late '60s, has invested a great deal of time and money into his collection, though a few of his pieces were acquired for as low as $35 each. As he showcased some of his personal favorites, I reflected on an interview he gave the day before on WXXI radio, and I came to realize that movie poster design is truly a lost art. Resnick voiced his disappointment (on both occasions) with MGM's promotion, citing that they placed the stars and names above all else, including the film's content. Many modern films do much the same; they seek to sell names and pretty faces, when technology and special effects are absent, and that is precisely where promotion ends. The variety of designs, techniques, and styles employed throughout Resnick's collection is astonishing, and it certainly tugs at the heartstrings. Where has the artistry gone, in the movies themselves and in their advertising? I have only owned the book for a few hours, so I have yet to fully explore and digest its contents, but I am greatly looking forward to the opportunity. (On a side note, as I was exploring the museum shop before the showing, I noticed that they are now reprinting T-shirts with Louise's iconic pearl necklace image from the Richee photo session...which I had spent years wishing for and had only come across on eBay several months before. Tempted to buy a second shirt, but only because I am certifiably nuts when it comes to such matters.)

As for the film itself, it was an enjoyable, somewhat lighthearted and campy mystery. Knowing beforehand that Louise's voice was going to be dubbed over, I had set myself up for some disappointment, and to be honest, the film took its time in building steam. It seems that the first portion of the film consisted largely of salvaged material from having been shot as a silent feature, evident in the uncomfortably long pauses between (sometimes poorly) dubbed dialogue. The editing also showcased some weaknesses in the decision to create a "part-talker", particularly with Louise's scenes. Margaret Livingston (wife of famed bandleader Paul Whiteman) not only dubbed Louise's voice, but acted as a stand-in when necessary, and this was very apparent in scenes shot from the rear or side views. The hairline was distinctly different, as was her movement...however, there was one scene where the "Canary" approached her apartment door, shot from the rear, and I could tell that it was in fact Louise. Her movement is so graceful and distinctive that it cannot be missed, and G.W. Pabst was (in my humble opinion) the only director to fully appreciate and utilize her dancing background. While I am quite familiar with Louise at this point, I wanted to get to know William Powell, whose Philo Vance largely kept this film afloat with his unique suaveness, sleek intelligence, and hushed charm; Powell is an actor I'd definitely like to see more often, and if it were possible, I'd wish to chat over a drink. The supporting cast's performances were often comical, whether intentional or not, but that made the experience, with crowd and all, that much more fun.

I know now that I want to attend screenings at the Dryden on a fairly regular basis, taking in a wide variety of films, though silents will continue to be a soft spot. Just as I was a late bloomer to music, so it is with the movies. Signed book in hand, looking up at the clear night sky, I couldn't have felt more alive and full of joy, having realized just what my new mission in life must be. Call me starstruck.

Starting anew, part 2.

2010-06-09T22:33:00.000-04:00

I'm finally breaking my silence after an extended (and self-imposed) hiatus. A lot has (and has not) been going on in my life recently, and stress had ultimately clouded my judgment, reasoning, and overall well-being, as well as the well-being of my loved ones. No decision that I would make regarding my future seemed to feel right...I was either inhibiting my own progress or inconveniencing someone else. Ultimately, after weighing several factors with a heavy heart, most of all a boorish job market, I decided to return home to Rochester. As they say in real estate: location, location, location...it really is key when determining where you will find success. Me? I wanted to find happiness most of all, which I view as success in its own right. I was lacking the desire to create, I was unable to find even a second part-time job to secure some financial stability, and, despite my (far-from-best, quite honestly) efforts, I couldn't maintain the motivation to press on with volunteer work. On that last point, I did make a few attempts to volunteer within the community (between cleanup work and my too-brief stint with the local chapter of the Japan America Society), and I don't blame anyone except myself for my failure to continue; when your heart isn't in the right place, it's damned near impossible to accomplish anything that you wish to do. So out of fairness to myself and the people that I love, I returned home. I had a lot of good times in Cincinnati, met many wonderful people, and learned a great deal of things about myself and the world at large. That knowledge will manifest itself in a life with newfound purpose and restored clarity.

I am not here to put my feet up and let the world pass by. I am fully intent on working hard every day, giving even the smallest tasks my best effort. I want to rediscover my love for the small things in life, finding joy in even the most miniscule details. I am working hard to find a job that will support me both financially and creatively. I am picking up where I left off with many things, including my study of the Japanese language, drawing, and sewing (utilizing my new machine that was given to me by my recently-departed grandmother-- "Every time you make a stitch, think of me."), and I'm also seeking to add new experiences to my life. Volunteer work will once again be a part of my life; I'm hoping to be able to volunteer at the George Eastman House on a regular basis. On a somewhat related note, I will also be researching the life of one of Rochester's most famous residents, Louise Brooks. Any information I uncover, old or new, will most likely be shared here. She moved to Rochester in 1956 in order to be closer to the George Eastman House, in order to have greater access to their collections for her own research. In a way, I've made the same move.

Best of all, I can live life the way I want: unfettered and free. I cannot allow myself to succumb to others' high expectations and demands with a vague and lingering disappointment. I am simply unwilling to accept defeat.

お元気で。

Start again.

2010-03-26T13:04:00.000-04:00

I've been busy catching up on spring cleaning since returning from Minneapolis, which, by the way, is an absolutely charming city. It really did feel like home...the people are incredibly friendly and willing to help travelers/out-of-towners, the air is clean, the streets are lined with towering trees, and there are so many great places to eat, do work, or just hang out. It was difficult to leave all of that behind, as you can imagine. Cincinnati does have its share of hangout spots, but the sensibility just isn't the same. It differs among all cities. But after a crucial sit-down yesterday, I realized the problem. Despite my tired attitude of defeat, I wasn't doing enough. I needed to try harder. So, from this point on, there will be no fear.

Apply for any posting that suits you, but don't fear rejection, just prepare yourself for the possibility. Go out on a limb and inquire at local businesses, even if they don't have any postings. Do more volunteer work. Help to prepare that lovely garden on the balcony. Get out and socialize more often. Find the good in all people and all things, even if you're inundated with their worst. Test out that sewing machine that you got for your birthday. Make this place your home. You have a wonderful, hardworking, motivated boyfriend, great friends, and you do have at least one source of income, so there's a fairly solid foundation under your feet. You've got to build the rest.

お元気で。

Home = ?

2010-03-17T09:52:00.000-04:00

A word, an idea that has been on my mind frequently in recent days. The job search hasn't been very fruitful in Cincinnati, leaving me to question what to do with my life in terms of a career, or how to carve out a neat little path for myself (then again, I keep coming back to this point in a giant circle, don't I?). I dread having to try to commit to a 9-5 desk job, but I'd like to find something that's more secure than retail (or, at the very least, something more secure within retail). I want to find a job where I feel right at home.

I would also love to live in a city that feels like home. Sadly, I haven't been able to find that feeling as of late. I'm not disowning the city of Cincinnati, as I have found many things, places, and people to enjoy, but there's something in the attitude of the general public that has become disturbing to me. I sense detachment, apathy, and an overall lack of respect (I don't want to believe that any of those things are true, but it seems to be the general trend, taken from an outsider's perspective). I speak not as a cynic, but as someone who wants to see the best in everyone and everything, and everyone seems to deserve better for themselves. There are things that Cincinnatians can be proud of, and others that they can take the initiative in setting forth or improving, but so few actually do so. An older gentleman that was on the Megabus to Chicago with us conversed for most of the trip; very friendly, down-to-earth, and knowledgable of past and current events in Cincinnati and in other cities (a veritable match for my boyfriend). I'm currently sitting in a coffee gallery in Minneapolis, which, in the 5 hours that I've been here, seems more homelike to me. Then again, perhaps I'm just feeding my need for a change of scenery.

Thus the dilemma unfolds: I could return to my hometown, provided that I find a job there first that is an improvement over my current position...but that would take an ax to my relationship, which I value highly and which has strengthened me in a number of ways. At the same time, my boyfriend has another year of school...I feel that I could tough out the city for that period of time, but I don't know that it would get any easier. My life does need some definition, but there is excitement in keeping the book open. With great patience, understanding, and a more optimistic attitude, I'm willing to try again.

お元気で。

A loving cup.

2010-03-06T14:43:00.000-05:00

Following up on the recent JASGC lunch seminar on tea and its health benefits, which was sponsored by Essencha Tea House (thank you, Tracy!), and as I sip a cup of flavorful black tea, I thought I would share some of the information that was discussed. Some of these tidbits have limited scientific backing, but the more extreme benefits cannot be guaranteed (cancer prevention, for example).

1. Tea contains several antioxidants, which help to protect your body from the tolling effects of aging and pollution.

2. Tea contains less caffeine than coffee (though, like coffee, can be found in decaffeinated varieties). Coffee usually contains two to three times the caffeine of tea, with an 8-ounce cup weighing in at 135 mg. Tea on average contains only 30-40 mg. If coffee's side effects are too jarring, give tea a try.

Additionally, decaffeinated tea undergoes either a chemical or water-based process to remove the caffeine, which also removes key chemicals that would otherwise provide health benefits.

3. Tea may reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke, as tea helps to prevent blood clots and keep your arteries smooth and clear. A five year study in the Netherlands found a 70% lower risk of heart attack in people who drank two to three cups of black tea per day than in non-tea drinkers.

4. Tea helps to protect your bones. Adding milk to your tea might help in some cases, but the true helpers in this case just might be the various phytochemicals found in tea. One study found that after 10 years, tea drinkers had stronger bones than non-tea drinkers (even after adjusting for factors like smoking, age, exercise, etc.).

5. Tea contains fluoride and tannins that help prevent plaque buildup, aiding in keeping teeth and gums healthy (provided, of course, that you maintain good brushing and flossing habits). Adding sugar to tea alters these effects, so consider using less (or no) sugar in each cup.

6. Drinking tea may help your immune system fight off infection.

7. Tea keeps your body hydrated. Caffeine, a diuretic, only becomes an issue when more than five or six cups of a beverage are consumed.

8. Tea doesn't have any calories, except when milk or any sugar/sweetener is added. It's a safer, all-natural alternative to those zero-calorie beverages, loaded with chemical-laden artificial sweeteners and packaged in plastic bottles, which could potentially leach additional chemicals into your body.

9. Tea may protect against cancer. The polyphenols found in tea provide protective benefits, as do other antioxidants...however, the research is inconclusive as to long-term, definitive benefits on the human body, so take this information with a grain of salt.

10. Tea increases your metabolism. Green tea in particular increases your metabolic rate so that you can burn 70-80 additional calories by drinking five cups per day. Tea alone shouldn't be used to shed those pounds...a vigorous walk, regular workouts, and a healthier diet will also help.

If you are a coffee drinker, this post isn't meant to stop you from drinking java altogether, merely to demonstrate tea's benefits for those who may be looking for an alternative. While loose tea leaves/buds are the best to use, tea bags are also okay (though limited on the beneficial chemicals...and sometimes, unfortunately, on taste). As the warmer weather approaches, iced tea may be more favorable...most bottled teas are full of sugar or other ingredients that mask tea's full flavor. I can recommend Steaz teas and Honest Tea, both of which use cane sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup. Drink up and enjoy.

Information courtesy of MSN.

お元気で。

Perspectives from Asia.

2010-02-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

I had some time to wander around downtown Thursday afternoon before going to volunteer at the JASGC, so I ducked into Fountain News (the local newsstand/convenience store) to peruse their selection of magazines. I was very pleasantly surprised by one magazine in particular: Kyoto Journal, a collection of interviews and stories featuring artisans, musicians, and writers from all across Asia. As I currently have several items on my to-read list, I unfortunately haven't gotten through the entire copy, but I'll give you a sample, taken from the feature on gardener Ono Yotaro:

"The ability to express things well requires knowledge and experience. We need to learn good methods of expression as well as the traditional arts. Yet the beauty of a garden is something that cannot be explained by reason. In looking at one of my designs, if a person cannot easily express their impressions in words, I am glad. I enjoy my work simply because there is such joy in expressing it this way. Isn't this expression of pleasure something that exists in man's nature? For example, aren't you happy to communicate something through gesture to a person who doesn't understand it in words? When this person understands my thoughts and intentions, this is a different kind of happiness than simply making money."

I'm eagerly anticipating what other great offerings this issue (and, if I can get my hands on them, future issues) will bring. For more information about this issue or about Kyoto Journal itself, visit their website. I hope that you will enjoy their stories as much as I do.

お元気で。

Upcoming JASGC Event: Essencha Tea and Health

2010-02-18T21:01:00.000-05:00

Today was a wonderful day...my very first day of volunteering at the Japan America Society headquarters downtown. I hope to be able to make contributions at least once a week, depending on my work schedule. My main task of the day was to work on some flyers for upcoming events, the soonest of which is going to be hosted at the headquarters themselves. Sponsored by Essencha Tea House, the lecture will explore tea's various health benefits (and, presumably, offer some free samples). Mark your calendars: Friday, February 26th, from 11:30-1 PM, 300 Carew Tower. For registration and other information, head on over to the JASGC website.

More blog updates and event information to come. Until then...

お元気で。

Towards a standard of beauty.

2010-02-08T00:52:00.000-05:00

I've been immersing myself in Soetsu Yanagi's The Unknown Craftsman lately, an interesting (and, at this point, ringing of the personally-political) take on craftsmanship, art, and aesthetics. Yanagi's views strike a similar chord to those found in Tanizaki's In Praise of Shadows (which, if you haven't read yet, I would strongly recommend as a foundation in the Japanese aesthetic). As the book is prefaced by a series of photographs of various examples of textile, paint/ink, and pottery craftsmanship (unfortunately showcased in bleak black-and-white), it took me a while to get to the "meat" of the book: Yanagi's own words. The very first chapter has captured my attention, attempting to make peace with the ongoing technological advances and their effects on handmade goods, as well as to champion the value of the artisan and the works that their hands have made ("just as the hand has its limitations, so does the machine"). As for the chapter's title (also the title of this post), I have difficulty trying to ascribe a standard to something as fleeting, intangible, and ever-changing as beauty. There may be a cultural standard, but even within those parameters, there are differences from one individual's ideas to another's. So then, isn't a univeral standard impossible? Nevertheless, I'll end this post with a healthy quote...analysis may be ongoing as I complete the book.

"[...] The chief characteristic of handcrafts is that they maintain by their very nature a direct link with the human heart, so that the work always partakes of a human quality. Machine-made things are children of the brain; they are not very human. The more they spread, the less the human being is needed. What seems to be a great advance is also a great step backward; the desire for the natural as opposed to the artificial surely has some basic, unchanging significance. No machine can compare with a man's hands. Machinery gives speed, power, complete uniformity, and precision, but it cannot give creativity, adaptability, freedom, heterogeneity. These the machine is incapable of, hence the superiority of the hand, which no amount of rationalism can negate. Man prefers the creative and the free to the fixed and standardized."

お元気で。

JASGC Event: NiCK Kakizome, January 24th

2010-01-21T12:25:00.000-05:00

Though this is on somewhat short notice, I thought I would spread the word about an upcoming JASGC event this Sunday, January 24th. The NiCK (Nippon Chachacha Klub) will be hosting a Kakizome event, which celebrates the first shodo (calligraphy) writing of the new year. This shodo is typically an auspicious word or phrase meant to bring prosperity and good luck throughout the year. The Kakizome will take place at Essencha Tea House from 3-4:30 PM; more information can be found here. I will not be in attendance myself, sadly, but I hope to hear from those of you who do attend. I may break out my shodo set and create my own Kakizome...

お元気で。

A breath of fresh air.

2010-01-21T11:16:00.000-05:00

Every so often, I get overwhelmed with feelings that weigh me down like lead. The origin of such feelings is almost always unclear, and I can never predict when they'll come or how long they will last. I used to believe that a good workout would clear my system, and sometimes that is exactly what I need...but there are times when even a good sweat doesn't wash away the toxins. It occurred to me yesterday, during my drive to work, that meditation may be what I need to balance things out again. I have only just begun to research the possibilities, but I found this site to be a helpful introduction. A sample:

In the process of working with the breath, the thoughts that come up, for the most part, will be just noise, just random thoughts. Sometimes, however, when you're in a crisis or involved in something important in your life, you'll find that the thought, when you let it go, will recur. You let it go again but it comes back, you let it go and it still comes back. Sometimes that needs to happen. Don't treat that as a failure; treat it as another way of practicing. This is the time to let the thought happen, engage it, let it run its full course. But watch it, be aware of it. Allow it to do what it's got to do, let it exhaust itself. Then release it, let it go. Come back again to the breath. Start at one and continue the process. Don't use zazen to suppress thoughts or issues that need to come up.

I look forward to starting this new process soon, learning more and more about it, about myself, about the world. I will keep you updated as I go along.

お元気で。

Cleaning time.

2009-12-31T10:46:00.000-05:00

New Year's Eve is quickly upon us...it's astounding to think of how the time has passed, as I can quite vividly recall last New Year's Eve, which I also happened to spend right here in Cincinnati. It was a very eventful year personally: college graduation, moving away to a new city, extensive job searches, meeting several dozen new people. Times could certainly be stressful, but it has been worth every moment to make to where I am now. I have a long way to go to advance myself to where I want to be, but I am content. I don't believe so much in resolutions...self-improvement should be a year-round goal without a definite start or end date. There will be a party at our apartment tonight to cast away the old year and bring in the new, but I got a head start on that at the Bonenkai celebration at Krohn Conservatory just a few weeks prior.

Soothing music from the koto and shamisen, a buffet of delicious traditional Japanese food (catered by local restaurant Ichiban), hordes of elegant plants and flowers, and dozens of local businessmen, both Americans and Japanese expatriates. I was a bit uncomfortable at first, not being in the business world myself and not knowing how to introduce myself to such a crowd. I am therefore grateful for one person in particular who introduced himself to me and struck up a riveting conversation. He then took me around the room and introduced me to several other people, all of whom gave me business cards and may be of great help in the future. I am eagerly awaiting future JASGC events so that I may be in touch with these wonderful people again. I am also looking to do some volunteer work with the JASGC in the new year (and the new decade!), though my work schedule will have to allow enough time to do so.

On a final note, I have taken inspiration lately from Amelie Poulain...though a fictional character, I love how she took it upon herself to fill the voids in the lives of complete strangers with just a bit of imagination and a bright-eyed optimism. I hope to be able to do something similar...volunteering is something that I've always loved to do and something that, sadly, hasn't been as present in my life in recent years. This coming year will bring in a great deal of change, and I can't wait to see what will be in the future for myself and my friends. Here's hoping that you and yours will have a healthy, happy new year (and beyond). かんぱい！

お元気で。

ありがとう！

2009-11-22T23:42:00.000-05:00

Last week I finally took the time to watch two films from a DVD set that I had purchased this summer, which I then woefully neglected for several months. Criterion releases box sets on a fairly regular basis, covering a wide range of genres; I had purchased a set from the popular Eclipse series, which highlights "lost, forgotten or overshadowed classics". It is the 15th Eclipse release: Travels with Hiroshi Shimizu, a collection of four short films (one silent) that chronicle the daily lives of a variety of Japanese citizens: schoolgirls, bus passengers (and their driver), masseurs, pedestrians, and housewives, to name a few. Skeptics might feel that the films have no substantial plot, and that the subject matter is too mundane to be interesting. However, as is a common lesson in Japanese culture, nothing should be left solely to the judgment of the naked eye. Beyond the facade of everyday occurrences, there are strained relations, emotions forced and held back by turns, and, above all, a perpetual search for what is right and good in all things and all people. The first film that I watched, Japanese Girls at the Harbor (Minato no nihon musume), follows two young friends, Dora and Sunako, as they discover the entanglements of love and the jealousy that ensues. I don't wish to give away the ending, but it did have me rethinking my perspective on my relationships with various people in my life, past and present. Despite any past hardships or misunderstandings, I believe that there is a mutual desire to resolve those differences and set alight even a tiny spark of optimism and renewal.

The second film is simply titled: Mr. Thank-You (Arigato-san). Here Shimizu showcases his astounding camera techniques, always giving the viewer the best seat on the bus. There is a distinctly Japanese aura that surrounds the passengers in their mannerisms and their treatment of one another, but their words and actions are not so farfetched as to cause disbelief. I believe that the film showcases communication on public transit in a graceful, curious manner, which might not be an accurate depiction of life in public transit in the Western world, but when the boundaries are cleared and the cultural "masks" removed, we are each seeking one particular destination within ourselves. The question is, how will you get there?

お元気で。

In bloom.

2009-11-13T15:06:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday, a friend and I had the pleasure of visiting the Cincinnati Art Museum (a first time visit for me). We explored the exhibit on Chinese animal scroll paintings, which also featured a couple of Japanese scrolls for stylistic comparison. It's fascinating to consider the variety of forms of non-verbal communication, particularly in regards to art. The hierarchy laid out in the animal kingdom set forth the ideals and principles of Chinese law and military. In terms of the Zodiac, I fall under the tiger (having been born in 1986), so it's fitting that the tiger paintings were my favorite to view. Though, to be fair, every animal has its tale to tell. The exhibit runs through January 3rd, so there is plenty of time to experience it for yourself. More information can be found at www.cincinnatiartmuseum.org.

I will now share two of my favorite pieces that I saw at the museum (outside of the special exhibits...I believe they are both part of the permanent collection, if I'm not mistaken).

An elegantly displayed kimono, flanked by a floral arrangement that seeks to mimic the life and movement found within its patterns. There were several floral displays created as a part of the Art in Bloom event, including a few ikebana that I absent-mindedly neglected to photograph. I hope to become more knowledgeable of the arts of ikebana and bonsai in the coming months.

This beautiful lacquered screen reminds me of Haruki Murakami's comment about "living language", which I featured in the previous post. The swift, bold, decisive gold brushwork was executed in a way that tells a story about the very object it represents: a birch tree, standing solitary on a steep hill or mountainside. It is moments like this where I am truly awed and intrigued by the art of shodo.

I hope that you will enjoy these exhibits as much as I have.

お元気で。

Is the pen mightier?

2009-11-06T20:50:00.000-05:00

An editorial in the New York Times (featured here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/08/books/review/EParker-t.html?_r=1&emc=eta1) addresses the rapid advances in modern communicative technologies and their impact on the Japanese vernacular. Minae Mizumura laments that Japan "devotes less time to teaching their own language than to teaching a foreign language." On the other side, famed novelist Haruki Murakami takes a wonderfully refreshing perspective on the issue.

"My personal view on the Japanese language (or any language) is, if it wants to change, let it change. Any language is alive just like a human being, just like you or me. And if it’s alive, it will change. Nobody can stop it."

To read more, follow the above link. Feel free to add your own comments and thoughts here.

お元気で。

Upcoming JASGC events.

2009-11-05T23:33:00.000-05:00

There are two events of note on the Japan America Society of Greater Cincinnati's calendar for the remainder of this year. First, on Thursday, November 12th, the 2009 Automotive Industry Seminar: Future of the Automotive Industry in North America, from 2:00 to 4:30 PM. This seminar is crucial for those who are locally connected to Toyota, which provides a major cultural and economic bridge between Japanese and Americans. I should hope that the statistics provided induce an optimistic spirit throughout the community. More details can be found at http://www.japan-bus.pwc.com/extweb/news/seminar/seminfo27-e.html.

Second, the 9th annual Bonenkai celebration, which is the Japanese way of casting off the old year and welcoming in the new, will be on December 10th at the Krohn Conservatory. Ichiban, a local Japanese fusion restaurant, will provide food for the event. I will provide more details as they are made available. You can also visit www.jasgc.org for more information about upcoming events, or to learn more about JASGC's mission. One thing that is certain: I will need to reflect on this past year before casting it away to welcome a brighter, better year ahead. Will you? Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, and experiences.

お元気で。

Renewal.

2009-11-01T14:47:00.000-05:00

This is always a difficult time of year for me...October is my favorite month, and for many reasons. There's a wonderful feeling in the air that swirls through the trees and over the water, and I can always feel it and smell it. Waking up on November 1st is, therefore, typically something of dread. Not this year. I have firmly decided to recommit myself to my love of Japanese culture, but not in a passive, personal manner. I need to be active in my community and share my love and knowledge with others. I enjoy living in Cincinnati, but it is a few stones shy of feeling like home...it is time to bridge the gap. I am, at long last, an official member of the Japan America Society of Greater Cincinnati, and I hope to continue my tutoring even after my student returns to Japan early next year. My goal is to make this blog into a hub of information regarding the local Japanese community, but also to use this tool to connect to others who share these interests, whether they are local residents or citizens abroad. I am very much looking forward to communicating with you in the near future.

On that note, I'm heading back to the books...my old Japanese textbooks.

お元気で。

Settled.

2009-08-31T19:35:00.000-04:00

Fluidity now seems to be the solution to most of my internal conflicts. As well as my greatest source of peace.

As I mentioned in my last post, I attended the IndyFringe Festival on Saturday to see a friend's performance. Though my boyfriend had befriended Katherine Glover when she was in town to perform at the Cincy Fringe Festival, I had just met her last Friday, while she was only 2 hours away (she's based in the Twin Cities). Getting to meet her in person, as well as seeing her show, I was able to comprehend what a great personality she really is. My newfound friendship has me thinking that I need to curb my old stubborn ways. I can't afford to hold grudges of any kind. Poisonous thoughts and troublesome matters need to roll out of my mind and off of my back. I can't--I shouldn't-- make judgments of any kind. I don't write people off entirely, but I don't often give them the benefit of the doubt. Time to change that.

That realization brings me back to the title of my previous post. "A box of emptiness" is a fairly apt description of my current state. That statement is derived from a conversation I had with a new friend of mine, a local architect who shares my love of Japanese culture. Do understand that this emptiness is not a negative trait (Thich Nhat Hanh's The Heart of Understanding sheds light on this topic, though from a Buddhist perspective). Clearing my mind, heart, and center of such undesirable thoughts has left me with a comforting void. I have space to learn and grow. I have space to start clean with a new outlook. Though I may face small problems from day to day (as we all do), they won't last. As I realized on the drive home from IndyFringe that night: everything shifts. Everything is fluid. People and things have the propensity to change. They do and they will.

お元気で。

A box of emptiness.

2009-08-30T11:28:00.000-04:00

Somehow things have begun to fall into place. I may be working part-time in retail, but I am starting to see possibilities that weren't readily apparent in the midst of a stressful job search. I suppose that no one is really suited to a 9-to-5 job, but the prospect of a full-time position has lost some of its luster. A job without benefits is a difficult tradeoff, but it seems to be steady work for the time being. I'd almost prefer odd jobs, dealing with constantly changing environments. I wish I had the writing skill to make a living off of musings similar to those found within this blog. But it's impractical to wish for what I lack. It's time to make good with that which I possess.

I had another moment of realization this weekend, after travelling to Indianapolis for the IndyFringe festival. It was a new and unfamiliar environment, but awe-inspiring all the same. Dozens of performers had gathered to produce and perform works that they had cultivated entirely on their own, working to support themselves and, in their free time, going to watch their fellow performers. These people have been working on their own terms, making sacrifices, travelling long distances, and devoting large amounts of time to their chosen craft. If they can do it, why can't I? What's stopping me? If the passion is there, there may well be the means to make great things happen. The spark within me has ignited...now all I need is to find my direction. May you find yours.

お元気で。

I spy.

2009-08-18T11:37:00.000-04:00

Now that I live in an urban environment, I am prone to lending my time to one of my favorite hobbies: peoplewatching. The subjects can often be sobering (particularly if they're homeless or otherwise destitute), though I also come across a fair share of upbeat, colorful characters. I happened to spot one on the bus ride back to my apartment a few days ago: an older man was sitting towards the front of the bus, and, almost in secrecy, committed swift, soft charcoal strokes to a clean white drawing pad. His drawings were mostly blind contours, gestures of longing gazes out the window, hands clenched on bags, and mouths amidst conversation. It was such a refreshing sight, and the thought of it entices me to pick up a sketchbook and get back into drawing, something I haven't done regularly since high school. Though many of us seek out creativity on a regular basis, on occasion it will sneak up and find us first.

お元気で。

The roots are forming.

2009-08-09T22:48:00.000-04:00

I've been in Cincinnati for a week and a half now, and it has quickly come to be a comfortable place in which to start anew. I don't yet have a desk or convenient storage space, which would ease the transition, but I can learn to do without for a couple more weeks. Spending habits have already improved, and I'm looking forward to cooking nice meals with fresh local (whenever possible) produce...even pasta with organic tomato sauce is a simple but satisfying comfort food dish. The internal conflicts have persisted to a degree...I feel that things are finally starting to wane. I have taken on a tutoring job, working with a local Japanese transplant on his English (while working to improve my conversational Japanese). In hindsight, I have become more self-conscious, not only of my use of both languages, but of my prior inability to let things remain in the past. There are times when I feel embarrassed or stressed in reaction to a given situation, and I stir up feelings of inadequacy or self-blame within myself. My studies have highlighted such behaviors as selfish and destructive...and I wouldn't have pegged myself as someone who would succumb to even near-self-pity. Needless to say, those thoughts need to stop. I seem to do better when I focus less on myself and more on those around me. Now is the time to renew that promise; I have the chance to form new bonds through job interviews and my tutoring, and nothing should jeopardize those relationships. My 気 (ki) needs to be balanced, and that can only be done if I lend myself to more productive tasks and opportunities.

I would also love to share insights of Japanese culture (as I understand it, anyway) with anyone interested, whether a local citizen or a world traveler. I hope to have a more realized vision for doing so in the near future. If you happen to be an interested party, feel free to drop me a line.

お元気で。

Sprouting new roots.

2009-07-19T20:35:00.000-04:00

It's an exciting and somewhat scary time in my life right now...I've made the decision to move to Cincinnati to make myself more widely available to potential employers. I also get an opportunity to stretch myself in a new environment, quite different from that of my suburban upbringing (not that it was bad, but I was limited in some crucial ways). It is in many ways an uprooting, both physically and mentally, but I only see it in a positive light. While packing up my belongings, I must take the time to reconsider the way I live, work, and act, finding ways to reduce spending, benefit local businesses, create minimal waste, and boost efficiency.

1. Clamp down on frivolous spending. I'm pretty well set on a work wardrobe, and there isn't much else that I need in the way of other personal items. Having been educated and trained as a designer, and as one who appreciates great design in all forms, it can be difficult at times to step away from a great piece of clothing or an accessory (which I believe to be the most accessible forms of design in most cases). But I've been getting better over the years, and it's becoming a lot easier to say "no" and step away. It's never been about having numerous THINGS, or accumulating a large number of OBJECTS. "Thingness" is not so crucial to me. I'll be looking to channel that love of design into something more productive...and potentially profitable. I'm still eyeing the prospect of an Etsy store, whether my own or a joint venture. That remains to be seen.

2. Cook more, dine out less. Of course, that's a pretty difficult thing to do given the volume of great restaurants in the Cincinnati area, but with localized markets like Findlay Market and the farmer's market in Northside, I can purchase fresh produce and other goods...with the benefit of putting names and faces with the products that I buy. Plus, for meat, dairy and other needs, there's a grocery store right down the street, so there's an added incentive to buy only what I need, when I need it. I'm looking forward to being able to plan nice meals with wholesome ingredients.

3. Get a green thumb. I'll be taking some clippings of houseplants with me to my new apartment, but I hope to soon utilize the balcony space for a little urban garden. Greens will probably be the easiest thing to grow, though I'd like to try a small fruit tree or a tomato plant at some point. The downside to that is that I wouldn't be as reliant upon the local farmer's markets for certain produce, depending on the success of my own garden. At the very least, small houseplants will be a good start. I'm also considering a bonsai tree (a Japanese maple), though a second opinion has me doubting its success somewhat. No harm in searching around for other opinions, though. ;)

4. Get a grip. I've been somewhat disappointed in the way I react to things lately...I rarely feel like my old sturdy self. Having access to my hobbies (calligraphy, my old Japanese textbooks, origami, drawing supplies, etc.) will help to keep things balanced from within. I have time and space to myself within which to layout a plan to keep things calm and on the level.

5. Get involved. I hope that in between working and keeping myself busy with friends and hobbies, I'll have the chance to volunteer and make some local connections. I plan on becoming involved with the local chapter of the Japan America Society (http://www.jasgc.org/), and possibly with one of the local art museums. It's been a while since I've done any volunteer work, and any chance to be involved directly with the community is a palatable one.

お元気で。

The bug keeps biting.

2009-07-07T15:55:00.000-04:00

The minute I return home, I'll need to make something. I've been planning ahead by sketching away in my large Rhodia pad (an instant favorite). I'd love to incorporate elements of Japanese design and culture in the clothing, accessories, and objects that I plan to make. Etsy has been a great source of both ideas and materials, some of which I may end up using in my own projects. If all goes really well, I might end up with my own Etsy niche. I also hope that, whereever I end up, that my apartment will largely consist of self-made or "recycled" furnishings and objects. Just the other day, I found a few throw pillows in a "trash" pile outside of my boyfriend's apartment. If they're still there, I might take them in so that I can recover them and give them a second life. Why let something with a perfectly good base go to waste?

お元気で。

As needed.

2009-06-29T19:54:00.000-04:00

I've spent the past week and a half in Cincinnati, quite far removed from my suburban upbringing in western New York. I was raised as a sensible citizen, only consuming what I needed and avoiding wastefulness as often as possible. Now, after spending some time in an urban setting, buying necessities and using things on an as-needed basis is a new goal. With all of the options that dining out/carrying out provides, there is one downside: packaging. I feel guilty every time I have a styrofoam or non-recyclable plastic container, but otherwise I am able to dispose of or recycle my items properly. Thanks to the influence of one person in particular, I have made some small changes to my lifestyle (and will continue to do so): avoiding the use of straws when dining in, refusing bags whenever necessary (especially when I buy CDs or groceries/food in small quantities), and only buying/using as much as I need, no more and no less. If I do end up moving here to work, I can imagine that there will only be more good to come, especially if I'm in such good company.

As for that aforementioned special one, he has a blog that you can visit, and he can tell you more about the benefits of green urban living (and in more polished prose): http://curbyourgreenthusiasm.blogspot.com

Where do you find home?

2009-06-24T17:27:00.000-04:00

Though I'm hardly world-weary, I think it's pretty safe to say that you can find that feeling of home anywhere you go. If there's an aura or ambiance that you find to be comforting, there's a good chance that you can recreate it whereever you travel or choose to settle down. Throughout my four years of design education, I came to realize that lighting seems to be a common factor in creating a particular mood or atmosphere, be it romantic, peaceful, or austere. I recently discovered the work of Jason Hindley, who through his snapshots of interior settings captures an endearing warmth of presence. His work brings to mind what the Japanese call mono no aware, which roughly translates to the sense that, even though a room may be vacant or an object not in use, these conditions are only temporary. Not only that, but the presence of the user/occupant lingers within one's mindspace. You can sense footsteps across a worn tatami mat, or feel the breeze from the motion of hands picking through hangers in a tiny hotel closet.

To see/feel Jason's work for yourself, visit his site at http://www.jasonhindley.com/.

お元気で。

Bright grey.

2009-06-07T14:05:00.000-04:00

I've mentioned before the joy of a good grey day, but I haven't quite explained it in any amount of depth. I didn't know how. What it boils down to is a pretense of potential. These grey days are filled with endless possibilities, in terms of our surroundings as well as our own boundless spirits. Rain may dampen the spirits of some, but think of its function. It will inevitably quench the earth, the grasses and the plants. It provides a fresh start, a naturally clean slate for a variety of activities, indoors and out. There may be heavy, dark clouds, but look instead to the brightness slipping through the cracks. The sun is always present, but sometimes it chooses to hide. The brightness always persists.

お元気で。

To market, to market.

2009-06-05T14:27:00.000-04:00

I should be currently setting my focus strictly on job applications (more and more still), but I find myself distracted by the TV, a rarity in my day-to-day experiences. Bizarre Foods is on, and Andrew is exploring the variety of foods that Maine has to offer. His visit to a fresh fish market in Portland stirred something inside me...it brought to mind the time that I visited the Findlay Market in downtown Cincinnati (the only visit so far). Fresh meats, vegetables, pastas, baked goods, and spices, all collected within a tidy city square. The vendors are friendly, informative, and eager to share the joy of cultivating their wares. When it gets down to it, that human connection is vital; it feels wonderful when you know where your food comes from and how it comes to be. You know who you're supporting directly, and you're on track to developing a strong direct relationship between vendor and customer. Food you feel good about...

お元気で。

Coming soon!

2009-05-26T00:08:00.000-04:00

Clearly I still have a great deal of catch-up work to do with this here blog. As of Sunday afternoon, I am officially a college graduate...I've been quite busy since then, and there's plenty of unpacking to do, for starters. I'll be working on providing informative updates in the near future, as well as selling off old belongings, de-cluttering every aspect of my life, and finding time to read, work out, and unwind. I have about three weeks in which to do all of those things, all while transitioning from being a lifelong Dell user to taking on a new 15" MacBook Pro, a graduation gift from the parents. Here's hoping that this blog becomes something of substance in the near future.

お元気で。

久しぶり．．．

2009-04-26T01:03:00.000-04:00

Sweltering room on an unusually warm April night...or morning, depending on your own perspective. Just wound down with my usual cup of tea, though there wasn't really much to wind down from. It has been quite a while since my last post, but rarely do I feel that there is anything noteworthy going on in the day-to-day that requires a lengthy post. I'll sum things up in short.

I graduate in one month. No job prospects as of yet, and I'm not sure if and when things will turn around. I don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing, or what my plans will look like after May 24th. A frightening thought. Fortunately, I have the support of my family, friends, and my boyfriend...the one thing that you need most in uncertain times. A lot of projects on my plate, including my big senior presentation that is almost two weeks away. Trying to enjoy the last of my college experience...my shodo class (which is a one-on-one tutorial since I couldn't fit the course into my schedule) is my major source of stress relief, besides working out and attempting to throw myself back into the running scheme. I have always hated and continue to hate running, even after three years as a cross-country runner, but somehow I keep on keeping on...I'm inclined to believe that it's part of a grand process of demystification. There has to be something hidden within that I keep grasping for, and someday I will attain that realization. Back on the topic of Japanese culture, I plan to make just that the main focus of this blog...since embarking on my Japanese courses last fall and having a dream opportunity to spend time in Japan, I have become more passionate about its pursuit and spread than I have about my own major. A cultural bridge of any kind can't hurt, right?

Currently listening to A Slice of Lemon, an old (and I believe out-of-print) Kill Rock Stars compilation that we (the boyfriend and I) scooped out of the $3 bin at my local record store a couple of weeks ago. Short bursts of lo-fi, raw punk goodness...even the duds are good. If only all music could function in that way...maybe after an extended hiatus from any sort of music. Terrible music is better than no music at all.

お元気で。

Words about music.

2008-12-16T21:27:00.000-05:00

As promised, I will highlight yet another wonderful record label: Datawaslost, originally based in Cincinnati but now centered in Chicago. After downloading Coltrane Motion's "Twenty-Seven" on a whim (courtesy of a blog I discovered on the great, great Hype Machine), I was enamored. I sought out a copy of Songs About Music, and after several months of enjoyment, I was finally ready to take on the rest of the label's offerings. Michael Bond is the lead singer of Coltrane Motion AND the mastermind behind the Datawaslost label, lending his talents to other acts on the roster. There is quite an eclectic mix of sounds throughout, and the Datawaslost "mission statement" is equally impressive:

Datawaslost is close-knit group of musicians from across the Midwest, making records and art and god only knows what else with the hope that maybe some of it might actually be real enough to matter. We record it ourselves, in basements and bedrooms, sing our little hearts out to the tune of beeps and strummed guitars, then wrap it up, send it out, and see what happens. If we make money, then great, we get to make another record. If not, we do it anyway. We've all got day jobs to keep us fed, or at least no illusions about working in the music industry. We just like making music, and hope you like what we do.

Count me in.

To find out more about this gem of a label, visit their website, where you can order CDs or LPs or simply download a few free mp3s for a tasty sampling. The label's Last.fm page also offers several albums and EPs for free and complete streaming. I hope you will enjoy as much as I have.

http://www.datawaslost.net/
http://www.last.fm/label/Datawaslost

Teenbeat!

2008-12-09T23:06:00.000-05:00

I don't usually follow music by record label (Sub Pop, Saddle Creek, et al.), but I make an exception for two in particular: Teenbeat Records and Datawaslost (to be covered in a subsequent post). According to their very own website, Teenbeat "was founded in 1985 by a group of young geeks and punks at Wakefield High School". Over the years, they have continued to manufacture a distinctive brand of oddball pop and lo-fi quirk rock. My entry into their weird and wonderful world came in the form of Flin Flon's Boo-Boo, which I picked up by chance in the used bin at FYE nearly two years ago. The offbeat (but not off-beat), percussive instrumentation was instantly appealing, and the nonsensical lyrics added some unexpected joy to the mix. After some further "sampling" and research, I found that many other acts on the Teenbeat roster work along the same quirky lines...perfect. If you haven't yet experienced the bliss of Teenbeat Records, and if you're unsure where to begin your journey, the samplers are a great way to go. Most of them are only $5 apiece (with the others being just as reasonably priced), so scoop up a few at a time if you'd like. My boyfriend has also caught the Teenbeat fever, and I'm incredibly happy to have a partner with whom to scout out and pick up the entire discography. To find out more, go to http://www.teenbeatrecords.com, download a few free mp3s, and check out all of the artists under their roof. Happy hunting!

Time to start again.

2008-12-07T23:10:00.000-05:00

It's a bad habit that I've carried with me throughout my life...I can never be decisive when it comes to putting my thoughts into words. As a child I would make numerous attempts to crack open a diary or a composition notebook and jot down freeform entries, doodles, or whatever else came to mind...only to tear out those same pages weeks, days, or even hours later. The reminder comes in the form of a stack of incomplete, blank notebooks...they look appealing, but it's always a dead end. My blogging days haven't fared much better; I now have an abandoned LiveJournal and a deserted Blogspot blog. I figure that the best way to go about this blogging business is to just be myself: random, honest, a touch sarcastic, hopefully optimistic, and maybe just a bit screwball. It could be an album review one day and an architecture critique the next, or a day-in-the-life piece followed by a video playlist. Who knows what the future holds? (Besides a customized layout...and hopefully more frequent updates.)

More to come. Take care.